Its baaack! And now...round 2 surgery opposite lung

Well, after 2 years exactly, its now time to figure out what cancer is now growing in my opposite left lung.  This is not life or death, but to stage,  find any possible genetic mutations for targeted therapy or radiation,  and I am crossing fingers my amazing surgeon and interventional radiologist  can team up together to get 2 of the biggest 4 nodes growing in order to get w nuclei and diagnose properly with a good amount of tissue for testing between the 2 nodes. Its a wedge resection this surgery, as I will never be a candidate for another lobectomy again. What I really need is a whole lung...any takers to donate a lung to me? Not joking either folks.
Apparently there are 4 nodes currently that we have been watcbing now for 2 years and 2 of these little guys are now pissed off and doubling in size in the last 6 mos, a pattern of cancer. I also have the other 2 nodes as ground glass stage, which means they are in the pre cancer stage, however, they may never get to cancer which would be best.
There is many more tiny seeds growing in this lung as well, again seed stage.
This is how it all starts....small....
And this is why my team wants to get on it right away. The earlier the better for chance of survival and better prognosis.

In the meantime, we have done a needle biopsy to find out what the hot lymph node is that keeps showing up ony pet scans....comes to finding out it is actually a benign soft tissue tumor. Not sure I believe this, however, johns hopkins lab has concluded this with the tissue provided.

My team feels this is a type of cancer called multi focal pulmonary carcinoma. This means each tumor is a completely different cancer and nucleus.  So its like having tons of totally different mutated cancers all near each other in one lung.
Crossing fingers nothing has gone to lung lymphs.

Next wed , August 8th is d -day....no one wants to put on paper stage 4 lung cancer. No one!
Tbd to next week after pathology and prayers surgery goes as good as possible!
One thing I have noted....wtf did chemo do? And no I will not do it again!

Been receiving nice random cards ...and family gifts!

Got 4 random cards from random people I don't even know. I'm not sure where they come from but they make me smile. Someone mut have put me on a registry or some church group or some sort.
Very nice of the person who did that for me!☆♡☆♡
Received a custom necklace from my cousin Jennifer in Cali, along with a nice family photo of them wearing ShellieStong shirts! She sends me a post card every week to keep me focused on getting well.

It is awesome to see this support!

Round 3 is tomorrow...dreading it

Don't wanna go! I think lll throw a temper tantrum on the floor of the infusion parlor tomorrow...will it work???
Damn...it would for my 22 mos old!
That's how much I dread going.
It makes me cry thinking about it.

I still don't feel like I have even recovered from round 2. Body exhaustion is high, nausea comes hard for about an hour, 3 times a day still.

I can't drink beer, it makes me so sick! Of course it's my favorite beer time too! Ugh, missing out on pumpkin everything and October fests ! I jut did this 2 yrs ago pregnant!
#missingout

Walt cousin Emily will be my sidekick tomorrow...at least I'll have good company!

So hard to get up in the mornings. ..

It is such a struggle to get out of bed still. I am back to anxiety and dreading next Tues chemo day already.
I haven't still fully recovered from the exhaustion, however,I haven't let it stop me from going to Maroon 5 concert or the Broncos game event this past weekend.
I have to rest up for days prior and days after these fun outings just to recover or be prepared mentally and physically for it.
It's a whole different exhaustion. It's like a permanent lazy body mixed with eagerness to be busy but you just gotta push thru it.

I could not imagine working thru chemo. Mentally my brain doesn't function quick enough for the sales game right now. And physically I could be fine one hour and then the next be completely nauseous in front of a client.
There is no predictability right now.
Instead, I'll just watch sesame street and hang with my kiddo! She doesn't judge! And she doesn't care what we do except play and have fun.

Salute to survivors! Broncos game 8.9.16

We had a ton of fun at the Broncos game. I was super tired but made it thru the half time show where I participated in the show. It was a salute to cancer survivors, most of them were women with breast cancer, and there was more pink than anything, but it was still fun.
We made a ribbon with people on the field and shook our pink pompoms . 4 survivors told their stories to the stadium. I saw lots of tears of joy, and sorrow and the crowd cheered everyone on as we left.
I was 1 of 120 survivors

Very cool to he apart of this big event!

Maybe I'll make it out of bed today

Well I truly have been sleeping and laying in bed for 3 days.
I left to go to acupuncture yesterday and I did eat after if, pancakes and eggs, but the rest of the day had no appetite at all. My friend Kristen brought over dinner for hubs and kiddo last night. So nice to have such simple things brought over.
I mean if your already cooking, just make 2 extra plates and bring it by!

I had chills all night, I am hoping my bloodwork is ok today when I end up going there. Since I don't have a white cell booster shot now I really shouldn't be going into public or where I can catch germs. The last thing I need is another hospital stay.
It's hard to sleep, my ears have this high pitch ring especially in the right ear. I know my doctor said this is a side effect and will be permanent damage. I'm now afraid it will get worse with each round.
I'll check today and see when I need to go for a hearing test again to see how damage really is.
And I guess I'm glad I had 20-20 vision at 36yrs, since now I might need glasses after this.

As I sit here and wrote this, I think of 2 posts I have seen where cancer has taken someone's life in my personal fb feed this week. I also think about how my husband has had 3 co workers family die or diagnose this year and actually have to quit their jobs ,one died, and now 1 is fighting bone cancer at 38 yrs old husband and father of 5 kids. He is on dialysis daily and needs a kidney transplant. The chemo has ruined his kidney. My heart breaks for his family and I hope he finds a donor soon.
Makes me cry thinking it could be me.

I washed my hair yesterday for the first time in 3 days, and about 4 times the normal loss amount after postpartum came out. My head is constantly itchy. Dry...and I have been depressed. It's too bright to enjoy the sun and be outside and exhausting to even focus on my computer to do bills and balance books.

Today I have an angel cousin Emily coming over and I am hoping I can take a detox bath while she is here and watch Aubrey play and read books with her.

Round 2, day 4

Today I have been eating more. Oatmeal, instant breakfast with coconut milk, mac and cheese, tacos, pretty much a little bit of every leftover in the house. But hey, I need energy! I am very tired.
It was a chore to take a shower. So blessed to have my hubs to care for Aubrey bright and and early at 7am and she has been helping him rake leaves and play in the yard so I can rest.
I'm kind of emotional today. I washed my hair for the first time in 3 days, and more than normal came out when I got the knots out. More than hormonal pregnancy loss 6 mos pp.
I have no energy to do much other than lay in bed. And it's too bright outside for my eyes.
I have not taken any meds today for nausea. I have to wean off them. And cold turkey seems to work the best.
I am still dizzy and lose my balance though.
I don't have a headache or any pain like last time so I am so glad my doctor listened to me. And the fluids yesterday are helping to keep my kidneys flushing this toxic metal out!
Peppermint oil is still helping and rest.

I was going thru my photos and making a folder for all the #shelliestrong photos people send me so I can eventually order a fun collage to keep as memories.

Keep the photos coming! They make me feel better ! ;)