Today I woke to crying. Mainly because I feel so dehydrated,my mouth is so dry, and I just feel like a blob on a bed. I'm so mad at myself for having to do this. I feel so unhealthy and not at peace with chemo.
My body feel like it weighs extra pounds. That tells me I am weak.
I'm dreading the effort it is going to take me to take my child to daycare today.
I spoke to my nurse yesterday afternoon and she said I need to come in because of my leg and joint pain. She said it could be an electrolyte imbalance and I need to be checked out. I told her I have been freaking out about being paralyzed and I also can't live on pain killers for 4 mos thru this if it keeps up. She agreed.
My friend Angela has cleared her schedule to take me there this morning! I might need her to cheer me up too because today is gong to be rough. I am in an extremely low mental state right now.
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